Just Tom Named To Wiffleboard

After a long search for a replacement for Redfoot on the Wiffleboard, the League Office have officially announced that Just Tom Cadigan has been appointed. The appointment was actually known within the League Office since around early June when the decision was made. However, a proper announcement was held off until the All-Star Game and the Bluefish game was done.

The search for a new Wiffleboard member was a long and comprehensive process that began with a list of preliminary candidates. This reporter has found that the list contained six names: Miss Marcea "Red Rocket" Williams, Mr. James "The Raptor" Bresnan, Mr. Cadigan, Jr., Miss "Big Bruiser" Rosa, Mr. Greg "Crash" Pasco, and Mr. William Jonathan Drayton, Jr. aka Flavor Flav.

Immediately, the two female candidates were eliminated from the running due to a board members' absolute objection to having a woman on the board. The quote was: ...[T]he only place for a women is in the kitchen...[women] have no business on the Wiffleboard...

Although transcripts of Wiffleboard meetings are classified, it has been confirmed through multiple sources that the unnamed Wiffleboard member was Jim "Boom Boom" Cooper.

There were numerous meetings at the MLWM HQ especially dedicated to the Wiffleboard nominations. Candidates were judged on dedication, seniority, skillz, leaping ability, dancing ability; and last but not least, a swimsuit competition. Also, there were tests of will which included The Leap of Faith, Crossing The Desert, The Unblinking Eye, and The Paddle of the Swollen Ass...With Paddles. Furthermore there was a MLWM trivia game that helped determine a winner. A clip of that trivia game:



The next two to be eliminated were Mr. Pasco and Flavor Flav. Although he would have been a great addition to our league, Mr. Flav never did replied to our repeated requests to appear. And I have been told that Mr. Pasco failed the MLWM trivia test.

And that left Mr. Bresnan and Mr. Cadigan. The Board drew up a T-diagram and began to list the things each gentleman would bring to the table. At the end, Mr. Bresnan won 8-2.

However, Mr. Bresnan was missing in action for a month after the Board made its decision. Numerous attempts to contact Mr. Bresnan through his BFF Mr. "Bucket" Freire failed. Since the league cannot function without a complete board of directors, Mr. Cadigan, Jr. was elected to the post by default.

With the post, Mr. Cadigan, Jr. gains the use of the MLWM HQ with his own key plus access to the Wifflechopper, the Wifflemobile, and the Wiffleyoyo.