Major League Wiffleball of Milford

Space Holder

2007-07-18T15:56:00.001-04:00

Ladies Love Cool James.

But not John...

Stats Up In 12 Hours

2007-06-27T16:07:00.000-04:00

Also, I'll trade one of my highly sought-after autographed wiffle ball for an iPhone. If interested, have your people call my people.

Stats Are Up

2007-06-08T11:18:00.000-04:00

So why was it late after I made a much balleyhooed announcement about it happening on a certain date and then it didn't?

I have a tired groin with some disturbed tissue.

Michael Cera gets fired from Knocked Up
Uploaded by TstarV

Stats Up Within 24 Hours

2007-06-06T11:27:00.000-04:00

In the mean time, hit this up to kill some time. Though this is outtakes of a R-rated film so if someone under 18 without a guardian (John and James) watches this; we have no choice but to turn you in to the police. And if you are wondering if we have the technology to actually figure out who's watching this - yes we do have it. It came in a fancy box and we just got it last Tuesday. So everybody have fun and watch it, except John and James.

Next Game: Sunday June 10 1pm at Meadowside/Underhill

2007-06-06T00:52:00.000-04:00

What : Major League Wiffleball of Milford Sunday Spectacular!

When: Sunday June 3, 2007 at 1pm

Where: Meadowside Field or Underhill if the kiddies are taking our field.

Who: YOU!

Opening Day Today!

2007-05-27T00:28:00.000-04:00

What : Major League Wiffleball of Milford Opening Day

When: Today May 27, 2007 at 1pm

Where: Meadowside Field

Who: YOU!

Why: What else you gotta do anyway...seriously :p

BTW: Geico can save you 15% or more on your car insurance.

I Heart Pearl

2007-04-14T16:23:00.001-04:00

Mickey D's Milkshake Brings All The Boys To The Yard

2007-03-17T11:20:00.000-04:00

Funny, I asked the same question just last week...

Our Basketball Team

2007-03-14T17:02:00.000-04:00

As some of you know, MLWM is taking up basketball as part of our offseason program. So how are we doing? A little better than these guys:

He Sued Jay-Z Over A Hand Gesture

2007-02-14T01:24:00.000-05:00

You know the cheesy commercial where that redneck driver guy was holding peanut butter ran into the European driver guy holding a thing of chocolate and supposedly that's how they make Reese's?

Imagine Diamond Dallas Page running into Yoga.

More goodness here and here.

You know that he's 50 now?

This time, it's live

2007-02-08T17:05:00.000-05:00

They are really milking this for all it's worth...

@ MSG. The audio and video ain't gourmet but still better than what the Knicks pull off on any given night.

New York vs Boston

2007-02-03T12:36:00.000-05:00

Notice the New Yorkers not even batting an eye to Ms Pacman and her pursuers. If this happened in Boston, the dumbass authorities would have called this a terrorist attack or something.

p.s. Although there were only three ghosts rather than the four employed in the arcade games, why was Ms. Pacman not afforded the opportunity to the power pellets so she can fight back? This is an outrage!

p.p.s. The song is by the group The Go! Team. They have a song in one of the new Honda Civic commercial. This is where I brag about how I knew about them before they hit it big and all.

p.p.p.s. The missing Ghost is the yellow one. His/her name is Pokey, nicknamed "Clyde".

p.p.p.p.s. I had no friends when I was a kid and spent over $200 a month playing Ms. Pacman.

p.p.p.p.p.s. I still have no friends and I still spend over $200 a month playing Ms. Pacman.

Letter From A Big Bruiser Fan

2006-12-31T13:35:00.000-05:00

Hi MLWM,

We are fans of your league and my daughter, Riley, is a huge fan of Big Bruiser Rosa.

Since we got a Wii a couple weeks back, she has challenged our family members to fights on the boxing game in Wii Sports. She'd create her character to look just like Big Bruiser and she's want her opponent to look like Cooper.

I just thought you guys would like to see this...

Tell Riley that if she wants to punch Cooper for reals, he'll go down after the first hit.

What to get that special someone this holiday season

2006-12-21T22:31:00.000-05:00

This is everywhere already. I'm just posting this to see what the new Blogger is like.

Note: It's probably not for people under 18. Though it was posted by NBC. Proceed at your own risk.

2006 Winter Meetings Announced!

2006-12-12T11:34:00.000-05:00

The fourth annual Major League Wiffleball of Milford Winter Meetings will be held on Friday, December 29th at Wiffleball Head Quarters in Milford, Connecticut. The purpose of these meetings are to discuss the upcoming 2007 season and changes within the league.

The big topics hovering over this years meetings are a double play rule, organizing a search party to locate the body of James, and spinach dip. Mmm, spinach dip.

December 29th is also the birth date of Mary-Tyler Moore. The Golden Globe winning actress will turn 70.

Canadians and Hunters, Welcome!

2006-12-06T10:32:00.000-05:00

Since there's been almost no updates lately, most site visitors have either stumbled upon this site via a random link or you followed the URL on our business card.

And if you are of the latter group, you either got the card because you bought something on eBay or got one during a poker tournament. If you got a card in your package, congratulations! Not only did you get a bargain, you also bought it from a professional wiffleball player!

And if you got a card during a poker tournament, congratulations! You have met and played against the champion of the Foxwoods Turkey Day No Limit Hold'em Champion!

This concludes a space filler so our site don't look like it's been neglected.

Where are those boys?

2006-11-17T11:05:00.000-05:00

John and James?

About the Offseason

2006-09-20T22:53:00.000-04:00

Boys and girls, I hope y'all are enjoying the offseason training in your respective mansions or playing the winter leagues in the Carribeans. But for the love of Steve Irwin (R.I.P), please do not get knocked up by Matt Leinart (I'm looking at you, womenfolks) or get shot by an off-duty cop while you are all steroided up (Johnny Bucket, Cooper, Big Bruiser).

All of you out there are probably thinking that will never happen. Tell that to Brynn Cameron and Steve Foley.

Also, it is my understanding that the league will look into investing in these (since they are on sale) in case Johnny Bucket becomes uncontrollable again.

America Stinks

2006-09-01T11:01:00.000-04:00

How the U S of A did in sports...the last thing we can actually brag we are better than everybody at:

Football (Soccer to American Gringos): Overhyped and stunk at World Cup.

Baseball: Lost to Canada. Only managed to beat up a bunch of South Africans who were taught the game via Powerpoint slides 2 hours before the game.

Basketball: Just lost to Greece. No NBA players on the Greek roster.

Hockey: Sorry, we don't get OLN.

Tennis: Ferderer/Nadal. Andy Roddick is a douchebag who chokes when his sponsors spend big to promote him (see: Nike, American Express). There's hope for James Blake the Connecticut boy who manages to have a girlfriend prettier than he. And my lady friends tell me Mr. Blake is a very pretty man.

Wiffleball: The team that won the 2006 MLWM championship has Cometa on it. As if you don't know already, Cometa is Canadian.

Boxing: None of the thousands of Heavyweight Title belts are around the waists of Americans. Not one. I'm actually waiting to see that new Rocky movie just cuz that might the only way an American will win.

Cycling: Needs drugs to win.

Edit: Cooper says that we won the Little League World Series. True, but we also lost the hotdog eating contest again to Japan. For America to lose in an eating contest is so bad, we'd need to win 5 straight LLWS to balance out.

Completely Non-Wiffleball Stuff

2006-08-31T08:18:00.000-04:00

Since there's really no news, just something to browse while you are around...

- Always wanted to have a shirt that says "World's Hottest Grandma"? Now it can be yours for less than $8 shipped! I'm wearing mine to IHOP in hopes it might score me a senior's discount and to proclaim my hottness.

- I'm looking to confirm this myself. I know for a fact I got an IKEA catalog around my house somewhere. If I can't find it, I'm willing to drive to New Haven to score another one. This has got Tyler Durden's fingerprints all over it.

- If you look closely at our Bluefish group picture from last year, you'll see something that'll scar you for life.

- It's gonna be kinda awkward with your brother's wife at the family get-togethers...

- Free year of Sporting News. Make everything up except your mailing address.

Playoffs Pics And Recap

2006-08-30T15:27:00.000-04:00

People were wondering if I was lying about putting the pics up. No, I did not lie, the pics are up. It's just that it's on our Flickr page, with all our other pics. I didn't feel like posting pics here again and making fun of people as they bend over.

Also, Tom did a little playoffs recap on his employer's time for us. The boy risked getting fired to pull that together, so run and look at it now!

And last but not least, the website will go under for a facelift in the coming months as Blogger gets more features. It may look a bit different. It may have racing stripes, so it might be a little faster.

Playoffs Pics Up Soon

2006-08-25T08:43:00.000-04:00

I woke up at 6am, ate some eggs from free range hens and did my squats and lunges to firm up the buttocks. Them I did my 3 mile and got my daily wiffleball long tosses in.

It's about 8:20am now, uploading the pics and they should be up within the day. Check back throughout the day for them. In the mean time, I suggest you yourself do some squats and lunges too. It did wonders for me.

You've Been Put On Notice

2006-08-25T08:12:00.000-04:00

In Case You Missed It...

2006-08-22T16:20:00.000-04:00

Here is a rundown of the 2006 MLWM Awards.

MLWM Champions: 'Sweet Pea' Johnston, 'Senor' Cadigan, 'Ghostface' Kaltsas, and 'Hot Sauce' Cometa

Playoff MVP: 'Ghostface' Kaltsas

Regular Season MVP: 'AVG Joe' Janik

Brent Remetta Award: 'AVG Joe' Janik

Fireman of the Year: 'Hot Sauce' Cometa

Rookie of the Year: 'General T' Hoggatt

Gold Glove: 'Crash' Pasco

Gold Glove: 'Sweet Pea' Johnston

All Star MVP: 'Sweet Pea' Johnston

They Play to Win Orange Championship T-Shirts

2006-08-21T13:00:00.000-04:00

The 3rd Annual Major League Wiffleball of Milford Playoffs take place this Sunday, August 20, 2006 at Meadowside Field. The games begin promptly at 1:00 p.m. but feel free to show up early to strategize with your team and help set things up. Also, please stick around until after the championship game for the presentation of the highly coveted orange championship t-shirts, the MLWM Championship Trophy, and all of the season's other awards (MVP, Rookie of the Year, etc.).

I know all of you are anxious with anticipation, but while you wait, here are a few of the top story lines heading into this year's playoffs:

1: The Weather - Is it possible that for a third straight season the MLWM playoffs will get rained on? My most recent check of weather.com indicates that it may rain yet again. The forecast calls for some scattered thunderstorms and I can't imagine these storms would dare miss the playoffs. Truthfully though, who really cares? Everyone should know that we are likely going to play anyway.

2: Can you say Three-peat? - I can't, but two of the leagues members like to think they have a chance at it. "Just Tom" Cadigan and "Sweet Pea" Johnston both enter this year's playoffs in search of their third title. This year things are a little different though, as the two players are on different teams for the first time in playoff history. I've heard rumors that there were some tears shed about this, but just imagine if their respective teams were to meet in the finals and the battle for the three-peat ensued, it would be the type of classic wiffleball that makes girls scream.

3: Speaking of Girls - Will this be the year that one of the league's female member's breaks through and becomes the first female to be on a playoff team that wins a game? This year's female players consist of league matriarch "Red Rocket" Williams and the talented rookie "Big Bruiser" Rosa. Both of these ladies had very solid years and look to finish it off with a share of the 2006 MLWM Championship. The only problem is that the girls find themselves on the lower seeded C (Williams) and D (Rosa) teams which doesn't help their cause much.

4: Seeking Parity - This year's version of the C and D teams look to become the first underdogs to win a playoff game in MLWM history. Each year, it seems like one of the 'dogs puts up a fight, only to fall short in the end. Last year, "Hot Sauce" Cometa nearly beat the A team without much help from his team. This time, "Hot Sauce" will be the one looking to avoid the upset as he moves up to the B team. All it takes is one good pitching performance or clutch hit and the underdog could spoil the dream matchup between the A and B teams in the title game.

5: Team Turmoil - Team turmoil usually doesn't occur much during the MLWM regular season as there are different teams every game and the stakes are not nearly as high. The playoffs are a completely different animal, with predetermined teams and the stakes being so high, turmoil can often show its ugly head. In the 2005 playoffs, it was "AVG Joe" Janik and "Top 8" Figueroa getting into it after their defeat in the championship game. This year's feud has begun before anyone even takes the field. Janik and "Boom Boom" Cooper were seen squabbling in the bleachers at Fenway Park late on Friday night about who should pitch and what the batting order should be for the A team as on-lookers stared and wondered what all the yelling was about. It remains to be seen whether the two rivals with the longest history in the league were able to patch things up or if the bad blood will cost them on Sunday.

Everything culminates on Sunday with the following match up's:

A Team (Cadigan Jr., Cooper, Hoggatt, Janik) vs. D Team (Keeler, Rosa, K. Lam, Sabol)

B Team (Cadigan Sr., Johnston, Kaltsas, Cometa) vs. C Team (Williams, O. Lam, Freire, Pasco)

The Championship will pit the winners against each other for the orange shirts, sweet trophy, and a full off-season of bragging rights.

Notes:
-Everyone should bring a new wiffleball to the playoffs if possible.
-Attempt to be there on time (we play at 1 p.m.)
-Don't be a baby and not show because you don't like your seeding
-Do not disown your friends or relatives for knocking you out of the playoffs